39th birthday

It’s my 39th birthday, the final year before I turn the big 4-0. I have no real reason why, but I’m not looking forward to 40.

I should be ecstatic. I feel more stable in life, with a home, wonderful family members, a job I love, and some fantastic friends who are like family. I’m not in my 20s and scrounging to make it, or in my 30s and still trying to figure out where I belong. I feel more stable than ever before, and it’s a great, satisfying feeling, but 4-0 still weighs heavily on me.

I still remember when my mom turned 40. It was old. It was really, really old. And back then she looked old. Of course, I was only 8 at the time, so 30, even 20, looked old, but something about 40 seemed exceedingly old.

But how can I be exceedingly old? I’m not old. I still feel like I’m just about to hit 30, so how in a year will I be 40?

It’s silly, and I know it’s silly, because my mom was not exceedingly old at 40 and neither am I, but this unrealistic fear of the number hovers over me.

To help me try to embrace 40, I decided I needed to do something to celebrate it, so I’m stealing an idea. My friend Megan did a 40 in 40, 40 things to do during the year leading up to 40, and I thought it was such a great idea. I’ve been so excited trying to come up with my list of 40 and I’ve been talking about it with everyone. Even yesterday I got my dentist excited about the idea and she’s stealing it to do a 30 in 30 with her husband to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary.

So I’m going to do a 40 in 40. 40 fun things leading up to me actually turning 40. These are things I haven’t done in a long time or  I’ve never done. Some are bigger, like taking a trip somewhere new, and some are more simple, like baking bread from scratch, but I’m hoping if I do these things in the year leading up to the big 4-0 it won’t look so grim.

Check out my 40 in 40 list. Want to do any of them with me?

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2 thoughts on “39th birthday

  1. I’m inspired! I just turned 49, and now I’m thinking about 50 in 50. Mine would have to be all no-money though, which is tough!

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